Why come to counselling?
Sometimes we just know that we need someone to speak to other than a friend or family member, because what we are feeling and what’s happening in our lives feels too big to cope with or to worry a loved one with. That’s when most people consider counselling.
If you have worries that are affecting you and your daily life, then your upset is as important as anyone else’s. No issue is too small if you feel you really need to talk.
Is counselling advice?
No, counsellors are not advisors and we can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. We are merely facilitators; helping you to find your own voice to discover who you are, to cope with what you’re feeling, and to realise what you want to achieve and how you think you can do that.
How often should I attend?
Sessions are generally weekly, particularly in the very beginning, so we can develop a sense of each other and our relationship, which is fundamental to the process. It’s not unusual to attend every two weeks, and certainly over time – if longer-term therapy is required, or we are working on ending and leaving our relationship – clients may attend at intervals of three or more weeks. So long as the relationship can be achieved and maintained, and I’m therefore able to offer an effective therapy service, I’m open to discussing arrangements that suit both personal and financial restrictions.
It’s perhaps useful to consider that attending a session isn’t all of the work, and clients generally feel reflective and more focused on themselves in the time in between, which is when lots of helpful understanding can also be realised.
What can be achieved?
Sometimes you can solve your problems and sometimes circumstances are out of your control. The level of what’s achievable is something you may want to consider, and what is achievable might not be what you expect or set out for. Sometimes, having someone who hears you and understands – who can sit with you in your distress and dilemmas, so you’re not alone – is all a person needs.
While there is much evidence to support the benefits of counselling for emotional wellbeing, when focusing on difficult issues and feelings, people can sometimes feel a little worse before they feel better, particularly in the earliest weeks. This is quite normal, and I’m attentive and aware of this as part of the process, to be the most supportive I’m able to be, as needed.